Tips for Navigating Complex Books with Sensitive Readers

From the moment I could read, I devoured every book I could get my hands on. I snuck books into my backpack to read under my desk, I hid a flashlight in my room so I could read after bedtime, and I tried valiantly to read in the car, battling car sickness through the twisty roads of central Texas. However, being a young and very curious reader came with a price: eventually, I stumbled across content that deeply upset me.

When schools talk about grade-appropriate or age-appropriate books, they are typically referring to the reading level of the books. You may have also seen the terms Developmental Reading Assessment (DRA), Guided Reading Level (GRL), or Lexile levels listed for a book; these measurements are all focused on reading skills. Another focus of these categories is the amount of vocabulary needed to understand a text. In this article, we’re not discussing these issues but something more nuanced - whether a book is a good fit for a sensitive reader.

It’s very common and natural for different kids to read at different speeds and skill levels, to grasp “harder” texts more quickly than expected, or to take their time to fully understand an “easier” text that they love. If I had been tied to a more traditional academic understanding of “age-appropriate” books as a kid, I would’ve been bored and likely would not have fostered the love for reading that I have to this day.

Young, adventurous readers may have the academic skills to read books they are not yet emotionally ready to tackle. Adults supporting young readers may have already experienced the difficulties of finding reading materials that are challenging and exciting to their young literary aficionados that do not contain actions, language, or situations the children may find extremely troubling. This can be especially tricky because different kids are troubled by different things!

I’m a firm believer that kids can handle much more than we give them credit for. To be crystal clear, Wordplay Wisdom strongly opposes book banning, supporting instead the ability of each parent to make decisions that are best for their child, and the ability of children to advocate for what they are excited about reading. However, as someone who was a voracious reader, I know that it can be difficult to avoid severely troubling content—violence, in particular, was very difficult for me to read as an elementary schooler, and could even give me nightmares. Reckoning with issues before one is emotionally ready is difficult, and often does not lend itself to very good dreams!

So how can parents, guardians, teachers, and supporting figures in our young reader’s lives make sure kids can engage their curiosity, read widely and well, and strengthen their reading skills while still taking care of their mental health? I’ll walk you through a few what-if situations:

When I was nine, every one of the older kids I knew from choir were reading The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins—so of course I wanted to read it too. My parents were concerned, however. They knew how sensitive I was, since I was the type of kid who would often cry if I saw a worm squished on the sidewalk, or even a particularly pretty gathering of clouds! Aware of the (extremely plot-necessary and powerful) violence in the book, they decided to have a talk with me about the content in the book. They knew I was hearing parts of the book read out-loud at choir practice so wanted me to have tools to manage my emotions. When I said I wanted to read the full book, they made sure I knew I could always stop reading if the depictions of violence in the book were too much for me at that moment. They emphasized that I could always return to the book later if I felt ready. They also had a few chats with me while I read the book and afterwards, to make sure I knew I could always talk through any concerns I had.

I still had a couple of nightmares after devouring the whole trilogy, but having something challenging to read was well worth it to me. It was helpful that I always knew I could talk through anything that was upsetting to me. And, frankly, I was so excited about those books that I would’ve found a way to read them regardless of what my parents thought—but if they hadn’t made it clear that I could talk with them, I would’ve read scenes of violence without any support. Talking with your child about what they are reading can turn the experience of a potentially upsetting story into a beloved memory of reading a challenging book.

And remember: oftentimes forbidding a book makes it even more enticing and powerful, something those banning books often seem to forget. Check out this consistently updated Wikipedia list of frequently banned books, including children’s books and classics: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_most_commonly_challenged_books_in_the_United_States

It’s hard enough to make decisions about reading when you are able to preview the books that interest your child. What do you do when your child wants to read a book that you’ve never read? This is a common problem for parents of reading fanatics since there are only so many hours in the day!

Thankfully two resources can provide lots of information to help you decide whether that new book is a good fit for your child. The first is

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/, which includes book reviews in its offerings. Their reviews cover multiple issues that sensitive kids may find troubling, such as Violence & Scariness; Drinking, Drugs & Smoking; and Sex, Romance & Nudity. There are also Community Reviews so you can read what other parents have to say.

The second is your local library. Librarians, especially children’s librarians, are an amazing source of information. They can not only alert you to possible concerns within particular books but can also suggest great alternatives. And they’re big supporters of reading so they are great people to know! Many libraries’ online catalogs also have links to reviews of books, such as Kirkus Reviews, Library Journal, or Publisher’s Weekly.

The summer I was 11, I had the bright idea to work my way through Mensa’s High School Reading List and read Animal Farm and 1984 by George Orwell followed by Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, and was all set to start on Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury—but I was terribly sad all the time!

Unsurprisingly, reading about dystopia after dystopia was making me miserable. My parents had taken notice, but I thought as a “wise” 11-year-old that I was much too “mature” to feel sad about fiction! On the contrary, what was best for me in that moment was to talk it out and then to stop reading only dystopian fiction for a while.

If your child has read something they find upsetting, encourage them to talk with you about it—the advice given in tip one still stands! If possible, read the piece yourself. Then value their feelings; they may feel differently about the piece than you do for all kinds of reasons. Something that you do not find at all scary may be intensely frightening to your young reader. Simply hearing that it is okay to be upset and having space to talk through what is upsetting to your child can be a huge help to them.

Sometimes it’s simply best for the child to stop reading a book. You may need to reassure them that it’s okay not to finish the book now. Remind them that they can return to the book later, even years later, if they desire. There’s no expiration date on books! In fact, returning to Fahrenheit 451 when I was emotionally ready allowed me to truly enjoy the story to the fullest.

Finding paths to take action is another way to begin addressing concerns your child may have. For example, if your child has read and been upset by the issue of hunger, donating food, money, or time to a local food bank is a tangible step you can take with your child. To find a food bank near you, visit:

In the US - https://www.feedingamerica.org/find-your-local-foodbank

In Canada - https://foodbankscanada.ca/

In the UK - https://www.trusselltrust.org/get-help/find-a-foodbank/

Another option is supporting World Central Kitchen, a nonprofit organization that provides meals to individuals in areas facing humanitarian, climate, and community crises. A similar approach can be taken with many concerns.

I hope this collection of tips helps you to feel more equipped to work with your young reader to find exciting and challenging books. Part of the joy of reading comes from exploring new texts, new genres, and new content! By supporting your child, you are creating a space of learning that allows them to read more broadly, more often, and with more confidence. And, as every author knows, the first step to becoming a strong writer is being a strong, curious reader. Here’s to all the good books in our futures, and the good talks that can come along with them!